Wedding Invitations 101: Wedding Etiquette Part II

Once you finalize your wedding guest list, the next step is to design, print, address, and send out your invitations.  Invitations should be sent six to eight weeks prior to the wedding date; we recommend preparing invitations at least four weeks before the actual target send-out date. 


 The basic components to a traditional invitation are lines to designate the host, request the guests attendance, the names of the bride and groom, the date and time, location(s), reception card, and Repondez, s'il vous plait (RSVP).

The host line identifies the names of the individuals issuing the invitations.  Traditionally, the hosts are the bride's parents, printed as Mr. and Mrs. [father's first name] [father's last name].  If you, the bride and groom, are sharing the hosting with your family then it would traditionally read, 'Together with their families Miss [bride's name] and Mr. [groom's name].'  If the groom's family is hosting then it would read "Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's Father's first name and last name]. If just one parent is hosting,....well, you get the idea! The most important thing is to select the format and language that will best fit your situation. In this day and age, there are many possible situations, so just go with what is right for you and feels appropriate to all those involved. 

Next, the request line specifies what the guest is invited to do.  You will need to be sure to include whether your guest is invited to the ceremony, reception, or both.  The traditional wording for the request is broken into two categories: ceremony at a place of worship and ceremony at a secular location.  At a place of worship, the wording would read, 'request the honor of your presence;' for the request at a secular location it would read, 'request the pleasure of your company.'  If you and your groom have decided on an informal ceremony, you could also word your invitations as 'would be delighted by your presence at the marriage of their children.'

The main event is next: you and your groom.  The bride and groom line is laid out with the bride's and groom's names on separate lines with a preposition such as 'to' or 'and' on its own line in between.  Traditionally, if the bride's last name is the same as her parents' on the host line, the family name is not repeated and no courtesy title is used.  The groom's name is listed with first, middle, and last.  If a more contemporary wording fits you as a couple better (you and your groom are hosting or if both sets of parents are hosting) then treat both names equally.

The date and time lines of your wedding invitation give the pertinent information for a guest's calendar.  The traditional line would have the numbers spelt out and the proper nouns capitalized.  The line can start with a preposition, 'on,' if desired.  If you choose to go with something a little more contemporary, use numerals.

Location is also a critical element of your wedding invitation.  It is not traditional etiquette to include the street address, but it is becoming more common as it is not very practical to leave it off.  If you do choose to include the street, you could opt not to include the zip code. In some cases, it might also be helpful to include a small, stylish map and most guests will greatly appreciate this if your venue is an unusual location or your wedding is a destination wedding. 

You can include a reception line on the invitation or add a reception card to the envelope.  If your ceremony and reception locations are at the same venue, you can include the reception line on the main invite itself.  However, if they are at separate locations, it is best to do a small separate reception card.

Finally, the RSVP can be a line on the invite or more commonly a card with stamped envelope for response.  Traditional etiquette does not require a separate card, envelope, and/or stamp for the RSVP.  It is not considered rude to omit the stamped envelope and card, but it could raise the risk of guests not responding in a timely manner to RSVP.  If you include a RSVP line on the invite, it would appear in the lower left corner with the address, phone number, email, and/or website.  On a separate card, it is traditional to print fill-in-the-blank cards providing the first letter of 'Mr./Mrs.'  You can also include a single line such as 'please let us know whether you will join us' with a line for their writing.  A fun idea is to also include a song request line to the RSVP card so your guests can request songs at your reception and help you build your playlist.

One thing that it is not proper etiquette to include on your invitation is the registry information.  You can direct guests to your wedding website and include the information there, but not within the invitation envelope.


For more information on invitation etiquette, contact us at info@vintageandlace.com.


Warmest Wishes,
Heather


All photos from Etsy.com and are invitations for purchase!